How To Stop Taking Things Personally? We all have asked this question at least once in our life. People might have called you people pleaser, cry-baby, sentimental, emotional, immature, and more. However, before you get the answer to this question, you must know that we all go through this. This is a part of getting “mature” and adult. There is nothing wrong with feeling emotional or upset when someone is rude or not the way you like them to be. It is about a time when you realize that it is not just them who are changing, you are changing as well. This phase is also a part of this process where you realize how to handle yourself and others maturely. And, most importantly which things are worth your time and thoughts?
How to Stop Taking Things Personally?
Realise
Most of us as human beings get affected by how others react, talk, and take action. However, most of the time it is not you they are reacting to; it could be a personal conflict, stress, or some other aspects which got reflected and hence their reaction. You are most likely to get affected, offended or upset about it. But, you must realize and let yourself comprehend that it was just a reaction against their issue and perhaps it has nothing to do with you.
Learn
One thing that you need to learn as you grow up is that you can’t please everyone. Everyone is not going to like you and that is a fact. Turn the table and ask yourself, “Do I like everyone?” The answer is no. So, do not expect everyone to like you. You do not have to change based on what others think of you. Then you are just being controlled by people. And, by the time you realize it, you would learn that you lack individuality. You lack opinion, perspective, and self-worth. Stop trying to please everyone and stop saying sorry and know that people are going to treat you the way you treat yourself. So, always treat yourself better.
Take Criticism
It is not necessary if someone calls you rude, they mean to demean you. However, you must take time and think about it. Is there any truth to that? I remember my best friend calling me immature about a decision I took. I didn’t get offended because what she said was true. And, it was not a criticism, it was a comment. You need to differentiate between people and their words. This is known as constructive criticism. Listen, learn, and work on it. If you think it is not true or they perhaps just made a false judgment, don’t think about it. You can always find something better to do than thinking about what someone else thinks of you.
Change Your Perspective
If you are stuck with an issue and are unable to get out of it. Try to look at it from the perspective of an outsider. What would they think? Or how would they react to it? Remember, the outsider is always honest and authentic as they are unbiased. Mr. Keating from Dead Poets Society asked his students to get up from the desk because the perspective changes you are in a different position. The task of the students was to write a poem. Your task is just to think differently, I’m certain you are capable of it.
Nothing Defines You
No one can define who you are, not even you. Because as a human being you are transforming every day, you are changing with this world. Imagine if Vincent Van Gogh stopped painting because some critics referred to his art as “strange, intense, and feverish”. Or, what if Pablo Picasso chose a different path instead of giving a new perspective to the world of art because critics addressed his works as “satanic” or “schizophrenic”? Nothing and no one can define you, especially not the criticism and your mistakes. Only you have the right to give yourself a definition and that is your self-worth.
Know Yourself Better
At times we judge ourselves by the way others think about us. If someone calls you people pleaser and you behave according to that. You are most likely to say “sorry” too much or just be apologetic about things that were beyond you. If someone calls you emotional, you probably behave like an introvert and stay at home when you just want to go out. Firstly, always be around people who want the best for you and want you to grow. Secondly, avoid people who point out your weaknesses to make you feel down. Lastly, you are better and stronger than you think you are. Do not let people define who you are. Why do you even have to know who you are? Just try to be the best version of yourself that is strong and seeks happy moments.
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